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Oh. Oh, this is a story about a guy
named Al, and he lived in a sewer with

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master pal, but the sanitation workers
really didn't approve.

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00:00:08,420 --> 00:00:12,040
So he packed up his accordion and had to
move to a city in Ohio, where he lived

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in a tree, and he worked in a nasal
decongestion factory. And he played on

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company bowling team, and every single
night he had a strange recurring dream,

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where he was wearing leader holes and in
a vat of sour cream. But that's really

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not important in the story.

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Well, the very next year he met a dental
hygienist with a special attitude on

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her arm, but he didn't even touch any
lobster number. Then he got himself a

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on a tater tot farm.

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Outro Music

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Today's lesson is, it's important to
acknowledge your mistakes, learn from

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and try to do better next time.

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Screwdriver, screwdriver, where do all
the screwdrivers go around here?

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Oh, good.

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Hey, how you doing? Man, have I had a
busy morning. It's only 11 .32, and

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already I've gotten so much done. For
one thing, I'm really close to finishing

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this brand new invention.

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Plus, I've gone through all the letters
in the mailbag and gotten my fortune

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told by Madame Judy.

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And, uh, old Bobby came over this
morning. I had to answer every single

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his ridiculous questions.

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And, of course, I had my weekly
highlight game with Terry Garr.

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Man, did I get whooped.

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It's just been a madhouse here this
morning.

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Ah! Ah!

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There! All done!

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I've rewired this old clock radio into a
bona fide time machine.

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Now I can go back to any point in
history anytime I want to. That's kind

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cool, huh?

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Let's see.

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I've worked tirelessly for days on end,
and I finally invented something that

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will change the very face of
civilization as we know it.

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What should I do to celebrate?

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I know! Watch TV!

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Ow!

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Careful!

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Let this be a lesson to the rest of you.

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Always make sure you warm up before you
start doing serious exercise.

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Otherwise, you're liable to... Oh, not
my spine.

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Oh, that's smart.

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Stop it!

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You have no respect for me.

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That's what it all comes down to. And I
refuse to be in a relationship where I

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am not respected.

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I'm leaving you.

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Goodbye.

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00:03:20,580 --> 00:03:25,040
Be sure to join us again tomorrow for
The Young and the Housebroken.

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00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:30,700
Today's kids question is from Lisa
Halliday in Downers Grove, Illinois, who

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asks, Do anchormen really have anchors
attached to them?

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Of course not, Lisa.

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We have...

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Huge concrete blocks.

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Anchors haven't been used since the late
70s.

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20 seconds to liftoff and counting.

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Still no launch pad power. Can somebody
confirm status on that?

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We have isolated the system malfunction
and we are ready to proceed.

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Copy that.

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00:04:27,780 --> 00:04:29,960
Ignition? Houston, we have a problem.

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Got a six -foot grounded heavy -duty
extension cord with a two -prong

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Huh. Wonder who that could be.

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I know. Where is he?

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Who? Harvey? I predict he's in his habit
trail.

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Happy birthday, little buddy.

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For he's a jolly good hamster. For he's
a jolly good hamster. For he's a jolly

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good hamster.

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Which nobody can deny. No, it couldn't
be.

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Today's not Harvey's birthday, is it?

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It is Harvey's birthday. Oh, man, I
totally faith.

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For you, little fella.

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Your very own monogrammed spatula.

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Very nice, very nice.

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Hope you like it, Harv.

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I made it myself.

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I couldn't find thread that was strong
enough, so I used hair that I yanked out

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of my own head.

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Hey,

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where's Val Brentwood, gal spy?

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Guess she forgot all about Harvey's
birthday.

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Can you imagine that?

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Harvey!

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Happy birthday, baby. I just finished
risking my life to bring you this.

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It's a play do with a two -way radio.
Now we can keep in touch while I'm out

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my dangerous spy mission.

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Okay, okay.

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From my own collection.

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A crystal ball to guide your path.

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Look! You can see the future swirling in
it already.

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Wait a minute.

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That's not the future.

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That's saved by the bell.

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Hey, this thing's picking up cable.

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Cool.

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I could never admit to Harvey that I
forgot to get him a present. He'd be

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crushed.

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If only I could do the whole morning
over.

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00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:32,720
Hey, I can do this day over.

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I'll just use my invention to go back in
time, pick up a present for Harvey.

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00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:39,520
Come to think of it, I can redo anything
I want.

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Oh, this will be great.

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00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:44,860
Okay, I'll just set it for 30 minutes
into the past.

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00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:49,560
There. Okay, now I just hit this snooze
bar and...

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00:06:53,950 --> 00:06:58,330
Ouch! I think my invention needs a
slight adjustment.

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00:06:58,730 --> 00:07:00,410
Went a little too far back in time.

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That's a little closer, but still not
right.

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Hey, it worked!

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I've gone 30 minutes back in time from
where I started.

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Now I can just run by Horatio's hamster
hut and pick out the perfect gift for

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Harvey, and he'll never know I forgot.

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I guess it's time for Al's mailbag.

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00:07:26,990 --> 00:07:32,430
Well, I don't have time to answer the
mail again. I gotta... Wait a minute.

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Didn't see this one before.

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A letter from the electric company?
Final notice?

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Those ingrates!

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I pay my bill almost every month!

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These guys deserve a piece of my mind.

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Hello, electric company.

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Yeah, I just received a final notice
from you people, and I am outraged.

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if you bozos can't wait for my payment,
then I don't need you.

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I've got a hamster here with a wheel
that can power my whole house.

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00:08:01,290 --> 00:08:02,770
So get a grip, all right?

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00:08:04,330 --> 00:08:10,530
See, sometimes you've got to show these
big companies who... Technical

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difficulties, but stick around.

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With the help of my time machine, I'm
going to get Harvey a birthday present

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it's the last thing I do.

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We'll be right back. Maybe if Al would
just admit that he forgot Harvey's

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birthday and try to deal with it, he
wouldn't need a time machine.

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Hey, don't go away. The Weird Al Show
will be back in a flash.

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Can you believe it? The Weird Al Show is
back.

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Yeah. Hey, everybody.

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A little misunderstanding with the
electric company here, and I'm almost

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matches. I guess I should probably just
use my time machine again.

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All right. Okay, I'll go back in time
another half hour so I can pay my

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bill and get Harvey a present so he'll
never know I forgot.

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Here goes.

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00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:10,800
Oh, that's better. Oh, hey, Madam Judy.

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Silence told!

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I am divining... your future that's
great but i already know my future and i

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don't really have time for this right
now so can we do this some other day

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oh i see that you are anxious oh you are
a very anxious

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person anxious that's not what you told
me last time you told my fortune oh the

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anxious man is soon bitten by
radioactive lobsters

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Good to know. Okay, Madam Judy, I really
got to run. Just put this on my food

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saying tab, okay?

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Man, what a day this has been.

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Can you believe it?

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No! No!

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Oh, she was right!

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00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:52,300
Oh, man,

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that was creepy.

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I sure hope there aren't any nasty side
effects.

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Oh, I should be fine.

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00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:00,680
Now, what do I have to do?

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One, call the exterminator to get rid of
the lobsters.

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Two, pay the electric bill.

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00:10:07,300 --> 00:10:08,540
Three, there's three.

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All right, I got fingers.

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00:10:19,730 --> 00:10:23,650
Yeah, okay, let's see. Call
exterminator, pay electric bill, get

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present. Okay.

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00:10:27,910 --> 00:10:28,910
Hi, Al.

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00:10:29,330 --> 00:10:31,190
Bobby, I don't have time right now.

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But Al, I just gotta know something.

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Where do ice cubes come from?

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Believe it or not, Bobby, I already
answered that for you, and I don't have

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to do it again, okay?

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00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:41,980
But, Al, I really want to know.

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00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:47,360
Bobby, I'll tell you later. But, Al, I
want to know now!

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00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:55,780
Al!

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00:10:58,880 --> 00:10:59,880
You know what, Bobby?

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00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:03,700
I would show you an educational film on
this subject that I already showed you,

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but based on your recent behavior, I
think there's another film you should

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watch.

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00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:15,040
What are manners?

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Manners are the rules we all live by
that keep us from beating the living

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00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:20,580
daylights out of each other.

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00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:25,260
When Mary goes over to visit her friend
Sally, and Sally tells her that she

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smells funny, that's not very good
manners, is it?

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00:11:29,119 --> 00:11:31,460
No, and it's liable to hurt her
feelings, too.

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00:11:32,180 --> 00:11:33,700
What would a polite host do?

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A polite host wears a sweater identical
to the one his friend is wearing.

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That makes his guest feel at ease.

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00:11:41,820 --> 00:11:43,600
What other ways can we be courteous?

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00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:47,640
Well, when you attend a school assembly
and you have to sit through a boring

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puppet show, don't talk, don't say a
word. Just act like it's the funniest

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00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:53,520
you've ever seen in your life.

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00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:56,220
Then get up and leave quickly before
they do an encore.

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00:11:57,580 --> 00:12:02,140
When eating in restaurants, remember,
the left fork is for the salad, the

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fork is for the main course, and the
last fork is for defending yourself

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rabid wolverines.

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00:12:07,700 --> 00:12:11,460
And most importantly, always remember
those three magic words.

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00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:16,100
Please, thanks, and uvula.

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00:12:16,900 --> 00:12:19,500
Try repeating these helpful phrases
after me.

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00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:22,180
Please move, you're standing on my neck.

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00:12:22,780 --> 00:12:25,820
Thanks so much for the giant bag of goat
droppings.

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00:12:26,460 --> 00:12:28,540
My, but you have a lovely uvula.

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00:12:29,580 --> 00:12:33,500
I hope these little handy hints will
help you to mind your manners.

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00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:38,300
So, Bobby, did you learn something here
today?

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00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:39,740
I sure did.

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00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:44,520
I learned that you won't answer my
questions anymore, you big doofus.

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00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:50,160
Here, take back the bowling ball you
gave me. I don't like you anymore.

201
00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:52,480
But, Bobby, I... Ow!

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00:12:53,900 --> 00:12:54,900
Oh!

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00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:06,860
Okay, that's it. No more distractions.
I've got to get Harvey's present or he's

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00:13:06,860 --> 00:13:07,860
going to be so upset.

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00:13:11,340 --> 00:13:12,340
Ow!

206
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:13,600
Oh!

207
00:13:13,940 --> 00:13:14,940
Ow!

208
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,580
Why are you in such a hurry?

209
00:13:18,020 --> 00:13:20,600
Boy, our highlight game isn't for
another 20 minutes.

210
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,000
Oh, that's right.

211
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:26,020
Oh, Terry, Terry, I'm really sorry, but
I've gotten really busy. I'm going to

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00:13:26,020 --> 00:13:27,020
have to cancel.

213
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:28,600
Cancel?

214
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:32,540
Cancel? But I got up early for this. I
mean, I could have slept in.

215
00:13:32,860 --> 00:13:36,260
Terry, I'm really sorry, but you
wouldn't believe how many things I have

216
00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,180
Oh, cry me a river. Go!

217
00:13:40,660 --> 00:13:44,840
And here, busy boy, you're going to need
your loud...

218
00:13:57,870 --> 00:13:59,250
Must be getting kind of early in the
day.

219
00:13:59,990 --> 00:14:03,330
You know, all this time travel is making
me kind of hungry.

220
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:07,290
Before I go any further, I think I need
a little nutrition break.

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00:14:07,550 --> 00:14:14,510
So why don't we make frozen waffle and
sardine nachos? Now, you start with

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00:14:14,510 --> 00:14:16,410
your waffles. Heat it or not, it's your
choice.

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00:14:16,710 --> 00:14:23,310
Then add the sardines, the nacho cheese,
some jalapenos, motor oil,

224
00:14:23,490 --> 00:14:26,990
and the secret ingredient,

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00:14:27,770 --> 00:14:28,770
Shaved chocolate.

226
00:14:28,890 --> 00:14:31,250
Now, personally, I like to shave the
chocolate myself.

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00:14:31,750 --> 00:14:34,590
Oh, and I prefer an electric razor over
the blade kind.

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00:14:34,810 --> 00:14:36,110
It just tastes better that way.

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00:14:38,730 --> 00:14:42,670
Electric ones are also a lot safer. I
mean, I can't tell you how many

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00:14:42,670 --> 00:14:47,010
I've... The razor's possessed!

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00:15:02,030 --> 00:15:03,870
Maybe next time I'll just use chocolate
chips.

232
00:15:05,710 --> 00:15:09,130
Say, why does everything suddenly seem
louder?

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00:15:22,470 --> 00:15:29,450
Okay, it's 8 .30 in the morning. Now,
what do I have to do to make

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00:15:29,450 --> 00:15:30,450
everything right?

235
00:15:30,810 --> 00:15:35,780
Okay. To hide all my mistakes, I need to
fix my electric shaver, get rid of the

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00:15:35,780 --> 00:15:40,180
lobsters, play highlight with Terry
Garr, pay the electric bill, answer

237
00:15:40,180 --> 00:15:41,940
question, and buy Harvey a present.

238
00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:46,460
Now, unless something gets in my way,
like, say, a Russian Cossack dancer, I

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00:15:46,460 --> 00:15:47,460
should be just great.

240
00:15:49,980 --> 00:15:55,740
So, when Al comes to, maybe he'll
finally deal with the fact that he

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00:15:55,740 --> 00:15:57,180
forgot Harvey's birthday.

242
00:15:58,140 --> 00:16:00,260
The Weird Al Show will be right back.

243
00:16:03,990 --> 00:16:06,990
Promise! It's time for more of the Weird
Al Show!

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00:16:09,990 --> 00:16:10,990
Al!

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00:16:11,490 --> 00:16:12,490
Al!

246
00:16:12,990 --> 00:16:15,350
Al! Al! What happened?

247
00:16:15,650 --> 00:16:18,470
We came over to celebrate Harvey's
birthday and we found you like this.

248
00:16:19,850 --> 00:16:20,789
Oh, yeah.

249
00:16:20,790 --> 00:16:22,150
Must have bumped my head.

250
00:16:23,270 --> 00:16:26,570
Look, let me just do what I should have
done in the first place.

251
00:16:26,890 --> 00:16:27,890
You know.

252
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:37,420
Harvey, I'm really sorry, but I didn't
get you a birthday present. I totally

253
00:16:37,420 --> 00:16:39,340
forgot. Can you forgive me?

254
00:16:39,820 --> 00:16:40,820
Wait!

255
00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:44,840
Harvey is channeling me. He says, eh, no
biggie.

256
00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:48,960
He's just glad you're here. Now let's
snarf some cake!

257
00:16:49,260 --> 00:16:55,160
Yeah! I can't believe all that running
around I did. Just so I wouldn't have to

258
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:56,039
admit I forgot.

259
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,820
I should have known my best friend would
understand if I made a mistake.

260
00:16:59,380 --> 00:17:01,400
Okay, Harv, blow out that candle.

261
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:33,620
Hey, buddy, no problem. I think my band
is around here somewhere.

262
00:17:34,580 --> 00:17:35,580
Oh, there they are.

263
00:17:37,260 --> 00:17:38,540
I think we're all set up.

264
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,880
You guys ready to rock and roll?

265
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:43,680
All right!

266
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:48,580
Looks like Al solved his problem just by
admitting his mistake and apologizing.

267
00:17:48,580 --> 00:17:50,280
See how easy that was?

268
00:17:53,460 --> 00:17:54,880
This is boring.

269
00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:58,880
Yeah. And I sure wish my morphomagic
degree.

270
00:18:02,030 --> 00:18:03,510
Kids, are you looking for this?

271
00:18:04,510 --> 00:18:06,190
It's Morpho Man's head!

272
00:18:06,790 --> 00:18:08,230
Wow! All right!

273
00:18:08,610 --> 00:18:12,150
Imagine the fun, imagine the adventure
when the Morpho Man's head and torso

274
00:18:12,150 --> 00:18:16,230
collide! Put them together to strike a
blow against the forces of the evil

275
00:18:16,230 --> 00:18:17,230
Emperor Zargo!

276
00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:19,470
Take that, you evildoers! Yeah!

277
00:18:20,070 --> 00:18:24,470
Combine them in the Morpho Car for
action -packed thrills! Hey, look out!

278
00:18:24,470 --> 00:18:25,169
that train!

279
00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:26,170
All right!

280
00:18:27,210 --> 00:18:30,830
When Morpho Man becomes a viable life
form, the fun...

281
00:18:34,990 --> 00:18:35,929
Morpho Man.

282
00:18:35,930 --> 00:18:39,150
Head, arms, legs, feet, hands, torso,
and rear end all sold separately.

283
00:18:39,570 --> 00:18:41,270
Don't even ask about the Morpho Car.

284
00:18:42,890 --> 00:18:44,190
Hold your horses!

285
00:18:44,510 --> 00:18:45,770
We'll be right back.

286
00:18:49,110 --> 00:18:50,690
And now, the spying...

287
00:19:07,590 --> 00:19:09,810
like a giant carbonated soda.

288
00:19:10,910 --> 00:19:12,710
S -O -D -A soda.

289
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:17,690
I saw the little run sticking there on a
log.

290
00:19:17,910 --> 00:19:21,610
I asked him his name and in a raspy
voice he said Yoda.

291
00:19:22,610 --> 00:19:24,530
Y -O -D -A Yoda.

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00:21:06,350 --> 00:21:07,350
is starting to go.